The day we found out...

May 12, 2010: After I had a regular doctor's appointment and was absolutely, unequivocally, positively convinced that my exhaustion and nausea was due to some unknown illness- the doctor encouraged me to pee on a stick. I refused to believe that I could be pregnant and was giving her all the reasons why I was absolutely not pregnant but just sick with some mysterious ailment. She said to me a few times, "Stranger things have happened!" I chalked her sunny demeanor up to the fact that she was nearly nine months pregnant herself, a fact which made me consciously stop myself from hating her out of jealousy for her having what I had so recently lost with our miscarriage just 6 weeks earlier.

I had a stock pile of pregnancy tests and ovulation predictor kits. We were not trying to get pregnant, as we were so devastated by the miscarriage... rather I was trying to better familiarize myself with my cycles and I could buy the stuff for free with the flex card I got from work. I think that in reality we both wanted a child so badly; we were just terrified to go there again so soon... and on purpose. We discussed our timetable often and agreed we'd definitely do it again within a year or so... to give ourselves time to heal and time to prepare for another adventure into the unknown.

So I came home and I peed on a stick. And I got two lines. Chris Smith was sitting in the living room waiting for me to finish getting ready so that we could head to the HSBC Arena to watch wrestling with Fletcher... I brought the test into the bedroom and sat on the bed, grinning like a fool. Mark came in to grab something and asked why I was sitting there. I handed him the test. He seemed shocked and asked if it meant I was pregnant. I said "yup!" with a toothy grin. He smirked and said something to the effect of "oh reeeeally," his seemingly typical response for something he'd rather ponder over for a bit.

We went to wrestling with the boys in a stupor. We texted back and forth about it while sitting next to one another so that we could process this news without alerting our companions as to what had happened. Mark seemed to be able to hold it together well enough... he is always better at composing himself than I am in the midst of extreme emotion. I couldn't stop beaming.

I had a good feeling about this one.